Monthly Archives: May 2008

Rods ‘n’ Reels

By | chubs, commission, muscles, Original Art, twinks, Unzipped Media, xxx | 4 Comments
This piece was for a Freshmen story about a gay teenage nerd who works at a small town movie theater. He crushes on his coworker, a fat cocky straight boy toting what the author describes as “the dick of death.”

Of course, one night after everyone has left the theater, the two boys get it on behind the counter of the concession stand, using popcorn butter as lube. The butter thing was the most unique part of the story, so in my other two sketches, I really played it up. Unfortunately, those weren’t chosen (presumably because Freshmen can’t depict fluids.) Originally, I thought it was only bodily fluids that fell in that category.

In any case, I have two sketches with some meaty guys dousing each other in lube but I dunno what to do with them. I was thinking one of them could make a really schweet fan-art of Fred Flintstone and Barney Rubble… but what would they use as lube?

Everyone Should Draw Orc-Sized Cocks

By | Anti-Heroes, Caleb, guest art, hairy, muscles, Tai, twinks, xxx, Zeke | One Comment
The other day, I was delighted to find this masterpiece of fan-art drawn by a Jeremy Thew in my inbox! In his words, he wanted to prove to a friend that he could draw orc-sized cocks!

Jeremy puts the Anti-Heroes in their outfits from Issue #1 and really seems to capture all the little subtle details I stick in those guys. I love how adorable he made Tai, what with that cute anime smile! I also really love the way he renders nipples… very pluckable!

He has two more galleries online that I think deserve a looksie. His DeviantArt site features a lot of cool Sailor Moon fan-art while his Y!Gallery site has some great xxx pics of pretty boys and their pretty dongs.

Thanks again, Jeremy! I LOVE the piece and am happy to have been introduced to your work!

I’m TOAD, Mafakka!

By | anthro, Fan Art, muscles, Nintendo, rant, Toad (Nintendo), video games, xxx | 8 Comments
So, I have been playing MarioKart Wii. Remember, I vowed not to buy any Mario games that didn’t include my boy, Toad as a playable character. Well, he’s in it and is once again an excellent competitor. I kinda can’t stand his voice though. Why do they make him sound like such a tool? And I don’t like how he doesn’t get legs. What’s that all about? Ok, I realize in his first game as a playable character he was a sprite swap of some guy in baggy pants and a turban. But what if us old school purists liked that Toad best?!

Ultimate Gay Fanboy

By | rant | One Comment
Hey guys, I started another blog: Ultimate Gay Fanboy. I was tempted to write a review of Speed Racer because I didn’t agree with all the specious negative reviews it’s been getting. But I didn’t know where to post it. So, I decided to create a new blog to post my reviews of things of interest to us gay fanboys out there. Please visit the new blog, and feel free to give your opinions of the material I choose to review! Thanks for your support, guys!

UPDATE: That blog is no more. Read the review below:

The recently released Speed Racer movie has proven to be one of the most accurate adaptations cartoon to film I’ve ever seen.
The cartoon is from the late 60’s and is originally Japanese and then ported over to United States where it enjoyed quite a bit of popularity. It’s basically about a teen race-car driver, his family, and their adventures unraveling sinister plots to eliminate him from races and/or steal his amazing car, the Mach 5. As a child of the 80’s, I had seen Speed Racer in reruns and remember thinking it was a little difficult to watch just because it felt dated. The stories seemed corny and the animation was sub-par compared to what I was used to. It wasn’t until much later, when I became a student of animation, that I began to appreciate Speed Racer. In the 90’s the cartoon resurfaced all over cable and grew a large cult following because of it’s “kitsch” or “camp” value. It’s chock-full of unintentional innuendo.

The Wachowski Brothers‘ film adaptation translates the original cartoon almost exactly. The plot feels totally lifted from an episode; from the outlandish villains and their ridiculous schemes, to the side plot of the annoying little brother and his pet chimp. The actors all look like character designs from the cartoon. The wardrobe is exactly the same, if not very similar. There is a scene where Emilie Hirsh is wearing Speed’s outfit right down to the red scarf. Even the show’s signature “suggestive gasps” made it into the movie. The only thing that is changed is the high-tech set design, which looks like BladeRunner dipped in a LisaFrank color palette.

That aspect, however, the color palette, is one that must not be ignored when talking about this film. To say that it’s over-the-top is almost an understatement. Bright, vibrant colors, lights and animation dominate the movie from start to finish. This look felt most appropriate during the action scenes but in carrying it throughout the film, they really succeed in creating an entirely different world. It’s stylized to the point where one might even call it experimental. Absolutely nothing about the look of this film is realistic. Ever.

This is precisely what I enjoyed about Speed Racer. They took a cartoon, and made the film version as “cartoony” as possible without animating the entire thing. More films that take their source material from a cartoon, comic book, or video game need to take this approach. Not everything has to be applicable to real life. I believe filmmakers do a great disservice to these original works when they’re modified to be “believable.”

I found Speed Racer to be visually engaging for the entire 2 hours I was there. There are times when it drags (the non-action scenes) but overall, I had a really good time. For the first time in quite a while, I felt like someone with an imagination was behind the scenes. I don’t doubt that these guys painstakingly watched every single episode of that cheesy cartoon (cringe-inducing as that sounds.) I feel like it’s important for the filmmaker to know his source material– and know it well. I respect and applaud the Wachowski Brothers for taking the time to really study the original.

My recommendation is that anyone who is a fan of the original series should definitely see it. Also, artists (particularly animators and illustrators) should give it a try because it’s a great exercise in visual art. If you do not like the original cartoon, do not like cartoons in general, and are more a fan of realism in movies, this film is not for you.

Tunnel Vision

By | muscles, Original Art, Persuasions, press, rant | 5 Comments
I’m proud to announce that I was recently chosen to contribute a piece for TimeOut New York! TimeOut is a comprehensive arts and entertainment resource found on newstands as a printed magazine and on the web at TimeOut.com/newyork .

The piece is for their “horny” issue in which the features are more sex-related than usual. The article I appear in is entitled “Musée d’Horné,” on Page 16 of the printed magazine and can be found online here. Basically, they got 5 local artists to submit a sexy piece and then got a panel of sexperts to judge each pieces’ effectiveness.

The three panelists who judged my piece are: Pet Silvia, Legs Malone, and Billy Eichner. You can click each of their names here to be taken to their sites… just to have a bit of background on their credentials. ^__^

And by the way, as a friendly response to one of the comments: The very same day this issue came out, I was on a crowded train and was treated to one of the more blatant displays of public affection I’d ever seen. The girl was in a summery skirt, no underwear, and the boy was in sweatpants, also no underwear. They were looking around nervously but noted only me watching so they totally started to go at it. They began making out– heavily. He sucked her neck while she fondled him through his pants. When he got visibly hard, he looked around again to see if anyone was paying attention. Naturally, I continued to stare, with a bit of a “wtf” expression on my face. This (I think) prompted the young couple to get off the train at the next stop. Also, this very same issue of TimeOut has an article about how NYC is a public sex wonderland.

Top 10 Video Game Songs

By | Capcom, music, Nintendo, rant, Street Fighter, Top 10, video games | No Comments
I’ll be scrolling through my albums on my mp3 player and when people see me go through my game soundtracks, they’ll see the original game covers and get all wide-eyed like, “wow– do you have all those games on your iphone?!?” And I smile and say, “no– just the music!” And then they give me a weird look and back away slowly. What can I say? I LOVE GAME MUSIC!

10) Act 1 (Ms. Pac-Man)

I always thought this tune was a little too jazzy and dramatic for the love story of two yellow circles.

09) T.Hawk (Super Street Fighter 2)

He was my least favorite guy in that game– but I loved his theme. MEKSHIKO!

08) Flying Stage (Rocket Knight Adventures)

One of Konami’s best little-known titles, it had a great mascot (very Smash Bros. worthy) and great music throughout.

07) The Ocean (Vectorman)

This one is good with headphones. In this game’s options menu, under ‘music’ it read “click off if you don’t like good music.”

06) Sandopolis Zone (Sonic & Knuckles)

They really get down in old Sonic games, don’t they?

05) Dreamer (Streets of Rage 2)

From stage 3– where you walk around beating the shit out of people at the amusement park.

04) Gemini Man (Mega Man 3)

It manages to be kinda spooky yet super groovy at the same time– definitely the Thriller of NES game music.

03) Begin Treasure Hunting (Kirby SuperStar)

This is here mostly because it is WAY too epic to be in a Kirby game. It sounds like you’re on a grand quest to save medieval Europe.

02) African Mines (Duck Tales)

I used to time Scrooge’s jumping sound to the beat of the music. If he was ever off beat, it was bad luck.

01) Juggernaut (Marvel Super Heroes)

It’s somewhat dangerous for me to walk around with this playing on my ipod because I get so into it that I wanna punch through glass screaming maniacally like Juggernaut’s voice actor.