A Big Chunk of 2nd Tier X-Men RemiXes

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  • June 28, 2010


Ah Rachel. I have a bit of a love-hate relationship with thee.

Dislikes: Her all-powerfullness. When she’s portrayed all young and whiney.

Likes: Her kickass BDSM hound costume and the fierce buzzcut or mullet she rocks. When she’s portrayed as a capable, take-action, “I’ll do this myself, fuck all o’ youze,” BADASS!

Rachel always struck me as one of the butchest X-Men. Her clothes and attitude (half of the time) just screamed touch chick. The other half of the time (and I guess this is Claremont’s and Davis’ way of making her 3-dimensional) she acted like an annoying scared little girl. Like every time she whined about Jean not accepting her, I screamed into my comic like “Bitch, she ain’t your mother! Get over it!” Or when she cried about Scott and Jean neglecting her for Nathan, I’d be all, “You ain’t their kid, honey! You don’t exist in their timeline! Get a grip and go screw Meggan, cuz you know you wanna!” hehe


I was always kind of apathetic towards Strong Guy. In fact, I even went through a phase of thinking the character’s creation was offensive to Italian Americans because his name is Guido.

What made me begin to like this character was his writing under Peter David in the new Madrox and X-Factor books. Yea, I’ll be the first to admit, new X-Factor is kind of slow and depressing. But I like the dialogue and character interactions; particularly between Guido and Madrox. They read like they’ve been best buds forever.

I had a lot of fun drawing Guido. Being that he’s a humorous and stylized character, I felt like I could be a little more whimsical with the drawing. I’m surprised, however, at the lack of erotic Strong Guy fan art on the web. He seems like he’d be right up you guys’ alley, particulatly you bear chasers. Get the nude greasy guido cock version at Anti-Heroes.net > Members Gallery > FanBoy.

Even at the innocent age of 11, I could sense that Cable was a fan-service character. And I was totally aware that his presence very much changed the industry, spawning tons of copycat characters and themes. There was no shortage of huge, gun-toting, bad-asses in 90’s comics.

So for a long time I really loathed Cable. He just felt overly important. I also didn’t like that as his popularity grew, he got more and more… conventionally attractive. I really hate when this happens to a comic character. They are introduced with unique physical traits, but a soon as they get popular, they get an extreme makeover– e.g. Cable’s sudden luscious Backstreet Boy locks. I mean, This guy was supposed to be OLDER remember?! Nothing annoys me more than bald men who all of a sudden make up new hairlines for themselves. (cough cough Jeremy Piven)

So MY Cable is an homage to original Cable; the Cable I’ve learned to like. I’m talkin Liefeld Cable… with the receding hairline, strange body proportions, tiny feet, useless straps and belts and buckles and all. Naked hairy daddy version at Anti-Heroes.net > Members Gallery > FanBoy.

Nothing really bad to say about my girl, Dom. I love that she casually fucks Cable and Wolverine and whomever she effing wants. Such a fierce bitch.

I really liked Random. I mean, really… liked Random. We’re talking traced the panels, redrew him nude, and… liked… those drawings.

Sure, I recognized he was created to be the Wolverine/Cable of X-Factor, but I appreciated his design and personality a lot. And when his backstory (having the name “Marshall Evanstone III” and being revealed to actually be a formless insecure blob) came out, I fell more in love.

I fleshed out his backstory in my head. It begins with a skinny, nerdy, waspy, queer fledgling young mutant who is alienated by everyone in his life. Secretly, he hangs out/ works at a rough and tumble biker bar. He befriends a big rugged biker and maybe even shares a sordid but passionate fuck or two in the bathroom. Then Dark Beast gets ahold of the kid and performs some experiments. Evil Beast holds the big biker guy hostage and has little Marshall use his powers to perform various evil deeds. Finally when the kid decides he’s had enough and tries to leave, Dark Beast offs the kid’s biker lover. Then, partly as an homage to his lover, Marshall re-imagines himself as Random, this quintessential tough macho guy, who not-so coincidentally looks a lot like poor Marshall’s former lover.

Don’t forget to take a gander at the naked version at Anti-Heroes.net > Members Gallery > FanBoy. Since Random is a shape shifter, he can make his cock whatever shape or size he wants

Chaos, Mayhem and Bedlam– Those were the 3 codenames given to a very early incarnation of the Anti-Heroes. This was after they became men (yes, the Anti-Heroes were originally women) but before Marvel introduced Jesse Bedlam.

Why do I like Bedlam? Well, in addition to sharing my first name, at the time of his introduction, he completed the triumvirate of there being an African-American man on every generation of X-team. X-Men had Bishop, Gen X had Synch, and now New Mutants/ X-Force had Bedlam.

If you have no idea who I’m talking about, here’s a quickie history. His real first appearance was in the Age of Apocalypse, a dystopian alternate reality where quite a few new memorable characters were created. Bedlam made his way to the main canon universe a few years later, around the time the original X-Force was failing. He lasted till that series’ cancellation but was then killed a few years later in X-Men, along with many other characters by crucifixion on the lawn of the X-Mansion.

Needless to say, I was livid for years. But outta nowhere, Bedlam was inexplicably seen alive in a new book! I kinda don’t need an explanation because his death was senseless in the first place. Let’s celebrate by
wacking off to my drawing of him!
Anti-Heroes.net > Members Gallery > FanBoy for the naked hairy version!

I kinda don’t know too much or care about this guy. I know he banged Rahne and is now considered to be at the omega level as far as mutants go. But for the most part, he doesn’t interest me. What’s fun though is that he heals. And with my twinky naked version at Anti-Heroes.net > Members Gallery > FanBoy, imagine yourself putting your cock in his asshole and being cured of any STDs you may have gotten prior. hehe. Elixir would be renamed “Penicillin” in the gay comix version of X-Men– haha.

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