Top 10 Hot Male Toonz

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  • December 12, 2006
If you haven’t guessed by now that I’m a cartoon buff, then… I dunno… WISE UP! I likes me toons.
There were tons of overtly sexual female cartoon characters over the years– but you don’t really see that with male ones. So, I decided to make a list of the ones I thught were hot. True, most of them weren’t intentionally sexual. But I was a perv and chose to find it everywhere.

10) Battletoads – This is more here for my BF than for me. I avoided these guys when I was a kid becasue I thought they were too much of a Ninja Turtles ripoff– (and their NES game sucked ass.) But I will admit, they had some hot bods… for a trio of frog men, that is.

9) Prince Lotor – He was the villian in Voltron. You’ll find throughout this list that I have a thing for the villians– the bad boys. I dunno what it was– maybe because I tried so hard to be good, I felt like liking the villians was somehow living vicariously through them. Anyhoo– Lotor was definetely intended to be attractive. But that cunt Princess Allura always turned down his affactions! I woulda married ya, Lotor! Especially with that incredibly monotone American voice actor they had for him! Remember that? I loved it!

8) Panthro – Yeah, when people talk about the Thundercats, all you hear is how friggin’ hot Cheetara was. Okay, yeah, she was stacked. Too bad the men weren’t! I remember thinking (even that young) that it was a travesty that none of the male T-cats had bulges. Somehow though, Panthro seemed less neutered than the rest of them. Maybe it was the voice– or his attitude. He just seemed more manly. He also used to kinda curse (Dang-Blast-it!)

7) Duffman – Yes, I am including some contemporary characters on this list. I have to admit, I was never all, “Ooh, I wanna screw Duffman!” But of all the Simpsons characters, if I had to make it with one, it’d be him. haha. Of course, not until I’ve had a couple beers!

6) James Bond Jr. – No, I’m not making this up. This was a cartoon that used to come on early in the morning in the 90’s. And yes, it’s exactly as it sounds… James Bond as a teenager: suave, womanizing, slutty, James Bond! In every episode there was some different chick he was talkin’ to. He was a player! And his themesong was like, “He’s got a job to do… while he rescues a girl!” Good ol’ cartoon misogynism!

5) Bumblebee – While all the other boys were idolizing Optimus Prime and Megatron, I was the kid always rooting for more Bumblebee airtime on Transformers. I thought he was so adorable. Yeah, he was a robot who could turn into a VW bug, but behind that metal exterior beat the heart of a needy, young, over-achiever. (ok, maybe that was taking it too far). But I did find him sweet for some reason. I also liked Starscream and Soundwave and secretly wanted them to take Bumblbee away and have their way with him!

4) The Cobra Twins – Tomax and Xamot, of G.I. Joe. Yes, the twin fetish was alive in me even 20+ years ago. They struck me as queer even back then. Maybe because I thought they were French. (American kids think all gay things are French.) I thought it was hot how they finished each other’s sentences and how if one got punched, the other felt the pain as well. I wonder if that worked the other way around? Like if you were blowing one and he spooged, would the other one just randomly orgasm too?

3) Gaston – From Beauty and the Beast. “No one’s slick as Gaston, No one’s quick as Gaston, No one’s neck’s as incredibly thick as Gaston’s.” I was sitting in the theater like, “That’s right, sing it, baby!” What the hell?! A Disney song about a hot guy reeling in his own sexiness?! Ok, I’ll take it. And the best part was when he goes, “As you see I’ve got biceps to spare / And ev’ry last inch of me’s covered with hair!” And then he rips open his shirt and shows off his hairy chest equisitely rendered way past the standard of everything else the movie.

2) Shark – On ATOM (Alpha Teens on Machines.) I can’t plug this cartoon enough. It’s really well designed. (and the characters look like mine!) And they also draw the male characters shirtless all the time and there are even some suggestive scenes thrown in here and there. Like when Shark stole Hawk’s underwear when they were swimming. It’s really fun. I urge more people to get into it (so I can find some slash art of it online someday– bwahaha.)

1) Launchpad – How did Launchpad make #1? I dunno– he’s always had a special place in my heart. Again, I didn’t think he was sexy, per se, becasue I was a little too young to think that at the time. But I do remember being very drawn to his image: the masculine chin, the height, the rippling chest. He was the REAL MAN of Duckburg! He was also the only one who wore pants too– think about that!

He was only cute on DuckTales though. When they put him on Darkwing Duck, they de-sexified him and made him all squat and balding. I was really mad about that. Yes, I know, he’s a mutha-freakin’ DUCK! But it was his image, man! I almost became a pilot becasue of Launchpad.

Feel free to comment, make additions, or tell me I’m psychotic.


  • Adam G says:

    No Bluto?

    I think my first animated hottie for me was Ozaki from Urotsukidoji and of course, chojin (Tatsuo Nagumo) … not really a children’s movie.

    And then there was Jubei, Tessai and Lord Gemma from Ninja Scroll.

    I guess Manga does it for me.

    I’ve got animated gifs of Gaston if you want them 🙂

  • Patrick says:

    JC My man… AWESOME post!!! :oD Being a cartoon whore myself, I can really appreciate your love of all these hot toon studs! I have to admit that I have never seen Shark before, but from your description of his underwear shenanigans, I GOTTA find me some episodes of his show!

    I was surprised that no MOTU character made the cut on your list, knowing how much you like them… but they can’t all make the top 10!

    I TOTALLY agree with you on Gaston… he’s a real dick, but man is he HOT!!! And yeah, they did go all out on the chest sequence with him, didn’t they?

    You know, I have always been partial to Phoebus from the Hunchback, myself. There’s a sort of innocent dorky hotness to him I’ve always liked! 😉 Now if only he were voiced by someone OTHER than Kevin Klein!!! Ah well…

    Thanks for another really cool post my friend!

    Hugz + Kisses,
    Patrick XOXO

  • Matt says:

    You obviously haven’t watched Venture Brothers, because no top ten list would be the same after seeing Brock Samson!

  • JC says:

    OOh! Urotsukidoji! The first time I saw that movie, I was like, “omg, you can make cartoons of this!?” haah. I had a friend in HS (a chick actually) who LOVED Omano Jaku. For her birthday one year I drew him saying, “I may not be human but at least I’m not a fucking monster like you!” Best line in the movie. He deserves an honorable mention in my list.

    And Ninja Scroll! That one strikes a chord with me becasue (as I was just reminded recently) that was the what me and my partner watched after we boinked for the very first time. haha. Yeah, Jubei gets an honorable mention too.

    Hey Patrick! Yeah, ATOM is really cute. The stories are kinda all over the place but the character/ prop designs and animation are top notch. They are rerunning the 1st season now. I hope it comes to DVD soon.

    He-Man was close to making my list. I didn’t put him on there becasue I thought it was too obvious. I wanted to dredge up some really weirdo random toons. But yeah, He-Man is definitely a close runner-up to everyone else on here. Only He-Man though– not Adam! I’ll only take him with the tan and the echo. XD

    I remember when Hunchback came out, Phoebus seemed to go against type. I dunno- that goatee seemed so unDisney to me– cute though. He and Prince Eric both get a big-up on the list too.

    Hey Matt. I totally keep meaning to get into Venture Bros. It seems funny. I seem to remember a scene involving that character and watersports…

    I might have unconsciously boycotted that show because that animation studio turned me down for an internship. >:O haha– but yah, I’m gonna take a look at it.

    Thanks for reading everyone! ^___^

  • Ikkian says:

    Great post idea! Next time, try doing a top ten of sexiest video games characters, you’ll have WAYYYY more. One of my favorites is Kilik in Soul Calibur 3. <.<

  • Nerone says:

    Hi JC. Nice post. A lot of fun. Since we were listed together on Patrick’s blog I decided to come over to take a look. And I liked it very much! Very nice going. I’ll be back more times.


    ps. I added your blog to my links

  • JC says:

    Hey Nerone! Thanks for the add. I returned the favor! Take care, dude!

  • Nerone says:

    Thank you so much for the link. You are a gentleman.


  • Anonymous says:

    what about sexy a$$ Xanatos from Gargoyles? If him and his boy toy Owen don’t fulfill your throbbing for villians, I don’t know what will…

  • Anonymous says:

    Shark from ATOM and Martin Mystery (from Martin Mystery). I am all about the blonds 🙂

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