Category Archives: rant
So Tirade has a bit of history. This guy says he wants a mascot design for a gay football team: The Chelsea Cocks. So I give him this sketch and he’s not happy with it, saying “It just looks like a guy in a chicken suit.” (um… duh, that’s what cock mascot would look like, dumbass.) He says he needs it to be “masculine; like a real football mascot” so I ask him to pull reference for me and he sends me a team logo with a cartoon hawk’s head in profile.
So I give him sketch 2 but he doesn’t respond. Dickless loser. Have the balls to at least send an email, yunno? Personally, I think he realized his pun wasn’t so clever halfway through commissioning me. Don’t you love this type of client? The ones who need someone to illustrate how dumb their ideas are? lol. Anyways, I ended up turning sketch 1 into a character.
No real history here… except for the fact that this may be my very first tentacled character. You’d think that with tentacles being so popular in gay toon pr0n that I’d have done this already… but… I have longstanding issues with tentacle pr0n. For some reason, I need to know where the tentacles are coming from– like I need to see the creature. Also, I can’t suspend my disbelief if the tentacles are dicks. Cuz like— an aroused dick isn’t be all prehensile and wiggly, yunno? I’ve written too much on this subject. Oh yea, Maelstrom’s 9th appendage is viewable in anti-heroes.net → members gallery. Enjoy!
Sorry for the all caps heading but I’m somewhat infuriated by what’s making me have to write this. You may have noticed your browser or antivirus software actively blocking my blog for the past few days. The lovely ridiculously alarmist pages will usually say something like “GET OUT OF HERE! YOU WILL GET A VIRUS!” etc.
THIS IS NOT TRUE! If you know how, feel free to BYPASS these warnings.
There are no viruses on my blog and there is no malware on my blog. What your attack detection software was picking up was apparently one of the “ads” in the AdBrite circulation.
I had a link to AdBrite (just another bullshit ad network) at the bottom of my blog and some asshole fuckface uploaded his stupid “attack” to AdBrite’s network. This means that whoever is partnered with AdBrite (including me) has a chance of displaying this anusface’s “attack” link.
Apparently Google only found the attack link present on my blog once in the past 90 days. But I guess that’s enough for me to make it onto their stupid automated list of evil sites and get a lovely “DON’T EVER COME HERE” screen.
Needless to say, I removed the AdBrite code. AdBrite is a poor excuse for an ad network.
And once again, I’m having to beg and plead with Google to stop fucking with my web presence. FUck them. That’s why their mobile OS is a piece of shit.
So to recap, there are NO VIRUSES on my site. The warning should go away soon, but even if it doesn’t, my site is 100% safe. Google bots can go to hell, AdBrite can definitely go to hell and dickless, talentless, wastes of flesh losers who spend their days coding malware? Well, your hell is just your meaningless excuse of a life.
In thinking of it more in the terms of tradition, it makes me tolerate the kids a lot more. Rachel, Cable, Nate and Hope have never been that high on my list of X-Characters I love– but since I’m so gaga for all the Scott/Jean stuff of the 80’s and 90’s, I’ve gotta make room in my heart for their would-be kids.
A few things I’d like to clarify in good ol’ fashioned internet fan-boy rant style:
1) Modern Marvel seems to be writing the Phoenix entity as if the last thing they read was the Dark Phoenix saga. Yes, it was epic– but things have happened since to change how these characters interpret those events. Namely, the fact that Jean WAS NOT possessed. The Phoenix entity REPLACED Jean. Having the Phoenix just hop from one body to another willy nilly really negates all the creative work that was put into Jean’s resurrection.
2) I will be really angry if Hope turns out to be Jean reborn. She’s not like Jean– her personality is too different. Hope really needs to be some sort of Cyclops/Jean offspring like the rest. Use Phoenix, use clones, use Sinister or alt-realities– whatever you have to use– just please don’t make her teen Jean. Also, here’s to hoping Hope does something really horrible when she gets the Phoenix power, because Bishop needs to be vindicated. It’s bullshit he was written out because of her.
PS: this piece was almost going to be in the Brady Bunch grid format.
PPS: Please no “Where’s Havok/Vulcan/Corsair” comments. I purposefully meant to choose Cyke, the iterations of Jean, and their “children.”
I want that to be a small collection of all my best and hottest pieces to date. So I’m taking suggestions on what to put there.
Remember, this is the “free” section of my site, so this is the chance for all you cheapskates 😛 who don’t wanna pay for membership to be heard! If there’s anything you’ve only seen a “preview” of, speak up now! 😀
There’s a version of my Emma Frost as Lil’ Kim drawing circulating about tumblr with my link cropped off.
If anyone comes across it, please let the author/ readers know where that pic comes from! Thanks! ^___^
(goddamn irresponsible guerilla web publishing fuck tumblr not everyone needs or deserves a web presence goddamit)
My blog at Blogspot was deleted by Google’s anti-spam bots. It was mistaken for spam and removed from the net, the URL and all content completely inaccessible to me.
For victims of this blunder, there is a protocol for restoration of the removed blog. I followed the procedure, which includes getting codes from Google texted to your phone, and jumping through a few more mindless hoops, including mandatory reading of online articles that call people in my predicament “whiners,” and posting in their help forums. Blogger has no tech support or customer service to speak of so users with a problem are to post in these forums where people are rude and dismissive. You can view the forum conversation here. After a full week of my blog and content being lost, I decided to start over rather than sit and wait for something that may or may not happen. This has easily been one of the worst weeks of my life, my emotions ranging from almost psychotic rage to extreme utter hopelessness.
I had a great following on Blogger and really high traffic. It’s very upsetting for me to be forced out. I feel very defeated. Hopefully this feeling won’t last for long and hopefully the fuckers will one day be violently raped with sandpaper lined baseball bats. Yup, I’m that mad. Enjoy the new blog!
So this week in figure drawing, I was kind of distracted (yes, I’m so de-sensitized to porn that two hot guys can be sucking each other’s cocks right in front of me and I can get distracted.) So I drew the models as Toads! Anthony was all worried that I would get kicked out for not taking the class seriously. Haha. What he doesn’t know is that I take Toad very seriously!
The models were very hot. Blue Toad in each of the poses is Doug Repetti, a hunky gay man about town who’s solid muscular body and ample genitals were a pleasure to draw. The other Toads are Adam, a model I’ve drawn so many times before that I decided to give him a different body type in every pose to keep it interesting to me. But the result makes Mr. Blue Toad look like the slut of he century! hehe!
Above is an experiment using this crazy paper Anthony had. It’s black wax or something, and then you scratch it away to reveal a multicolored pattern underneath. It was difficult to scratch if you don’t have the right tool. Also, there’s no erasing. But it made for a cute, fun drawing.
My Twitter followers know that a few weeks ago, I was home alone a lot and since I have no cable at the moment, I decided to watch all of my Super Mario animated series DVDs. I LOVED that cartoon as a kid and all my memories of why I liked Toad the most came flooding back. He as so awse. Here’s a screenshot from the episode that spoofed Mad Max where he became the TOAD WARRIOR. Get it? SO CUTE!
Toad was such a huge part of the toon but whenever that little bitch Yoshi came along, they unapologetically omitted Toad. That began my hatred for that bastard dinosaur. But now finally, come Sunday, I will get to control Toad, riding Yoshi like the subservient little punk he is, punching him in the face to get him to eat goombas.
Also, I’m over my issues with Toad being a race rather than one specific character these days. If he’s a race, then my drawings of hunky Toads that fuck each other are more justified.
Yeah, I harbored that grudge against little miss perfect Jean for a long time. There was also the Psylocke / Cyclops thing in the 90’s. I was rooting for Psylocke because she’s a ninja and ninjas are frikkin’ cool to an adolescent– not to mention the fact that Psylocke was a super sexy, super snarky, bad-ass diva. In the end, Jean won her man back, as well she should have, because Cyclops and Jean Grey are the backbone of the X-Universe.
The thing about him is, I like different aspects of him from different X-Men media. Like, I like the retooling of his powers in X-Men the first motion picture, his look and personality in X-Men Evolution, and his voice actor in Pryde of the X-Men. The fact that so many different perfectly valid instances of this one character exist got me to thinking about one of my main gripes with the franchise in general.
My problem is and has always been the inconsistency with different instances of the same character. I used to go on these huge rants about how goth Rogue in X-Men Evolution is wrong, or how non-speaking Storn in Wolverine and the X-Men is wrong, or how broken-english, slow-acting Colossus in every media that’s not the comics is wrong.
I’ve now come to finally realize that depending on the interpreter, the characters in the series can be written and drawn ANY FRIKKIN’ WAY THEY WANT. Nowadays there is no one correct way to interpret X-Men. They can be as far away from their original iteration as possible and it’s PERFECTLY OKAY.
Wolverine can be the level-headed leader. Cyclops can be the loose cannon. Emma can be the mom. Storm can… not exist. You can’t get mad anymore– the characters are more like… guidelines. You can’t say “Oh, Nightcrawler would never do that.”
I know this may seem kinda obvious to some of you but I was kinda hung-up on what I saw as bad interpretations of my favorite comic series– even modern issues of the comic series itself. Am I over it? Nah– but I think I much better understand why it’s happened now. And to cope, I’ll just continue to draw them all gay with drippy dicks.