Saggy Boobed Rogue

  • 0
  • August 8, 2007
I figure it’s been a while since I’ve tortured my readers with a random rant-a-licious post, so here we go. My younger bro bought me a Psylocke Marvel Legends action figure a little while ago, and I really liked it. She was very well articulated, and sculpted nicely. Plus, she was the exact same size as my Chun-Li and Cammy action figures from the Sota Street Fighter line. Now, the Sota Street Fighters are some really top-notch toys, man. They’re all beautifully sculpted and have great articulation and they’re all in perfect proportion to each other.

So, the pluses Psylocke had in her corner convinced me to try and grab all the X-Men from the Marvel Legends line. I’ve been grabbing them on eBay for the past few weeks and I have to say, I’m SORELY disappointed.

Well, some of them aren’t terrible. I’d give the Cyclops, Professor X, and Bishop toys a good review (particularly Bishop because each of his fingers is articulated, meaning he can flip you the bird, as I’ve done in my photo above– haah!)

But what’s bad about these toys is that none of them are the right size in relation to each other! It’s so maddening! Storm and Emma have these ridiculously tiny heads! And don’t even get me started on Rogue. She is HIDEOUS! Her face looks like Blanche on the Golden Girls! And she’s a GIGANTIC toy! She towers over all my male figures– like a full head taller then Gambit, Angel, and Nightcrawler. What’s worse is her head itself– it’s ridiculously big. And she’s not articulated like any of the other female Legends characters. She has a weird butt, droopy boobs, and she kinda has a fupa. It makes me most mad because since this figure is rare, she sells for a LOT on eBay.

So yeah, the Marvel Legends action figures are kind-of luck of the draw. If you want one or two, go ahead– because they’re kinda cool. But don’t try to collect a bunch of them, because they’ll all look like they’re made from different companies. That is all.


  • White Wabbit says:

    Goodness me, I think they’re ALL hideous *ahem* apart from maybe Storm, she looks kinda normal – except is it just me or does she have just one perky nipple? *eagle-eye* Mind you the light on it is making it glimmer like a beacon.
    Love what you’ve done with Nightcrawler though… mind you, looking at his face somehow makes me think that the whole lot of them appear like they should be starring in some budget seventies TV series of the X-Men, like a Happy Days spin-off.

    But you’re right, Rogue looks especially bad. What image did they reference THAT look from? Shame on them! I hate it when figurines don’t look like who they’re supposed to, especially if they look ugly when they should be stunning or cute. But then the solution is… you just don’t buy them haha.

    Wabbit xx

  • JC says:

    LOL– you’re right, Wabbit. All of them are slightly scary. But on the Rogue, I almost wouldn’t have minded the face if she had a normal body.

    I’ve re-edited this post with close-ups of this heinous figure. God, I wanna throw her out the window.

    Oh– thanks for the link on your blog! I put yours up on mine as well. 🙂

  • DigitalMirage says:

    Holy crap!!? I cant belive that the companies would do such a lousy job on proportioning all the characters. What bastards.. And.. OMG WHAT THE HELL KIND OF EXPRESSION does Rouge have?!?! What face is that? Is that like, horrified/Macho/Horny?

    God knows if I was straight and saw a girl do that expression.. i would definetly be scarred.

    Psylocke looks pretty damn cool. She’s like my fav’ one. They did a really nice job keeping to her outfit and look, and she isnt really making some horrific face. She looks very nice.

    I actually remember having that banshee one, not sure what happened to him.. my ninja turtles might have abducted him and used his mouth for other things.. Hmm.. where is he…

    Anyway, your collection is really nice, they all look very well kept.

  • Patrick says:

    HIya JC…

    Well, you know that I am a HUGE toy fan, but I have such a love/hate relationship with the Marvel Legends figs. I agree with Wabbit, so far Storm is pretty much one of the the only X-Men character they’ve done an “okay” job on… but the retarded base she comes with is just a big piece of plastic shit. WTF are you supposed to do with that thing?!? The white costume version of her, redeco’d for the X-Men toy line, is a much nicer version of that figure and comes with a stand that actually works.

    Some of the Legends figures look nice enough, and some they completely botch! I still like the Angel, who has a very handsome face, and his wings are nice… but the Rogue looks like Goldie Hawn meets Fillis Diller! And my poor beloved Nightcrawler looks like they sculpted him after “The Darkness” from that dreadul Miss Cruise film, “Legend”? WHAT GIVES WITH THAT DEFORMED CHIN?!?!?! And that sad-ass Mystique — she’s SUPPOSED to be HOT, people — And let’s not even MENTION the Cher look-alike Scarlet Witch — their all-time worst blunder!


    I still love some of the Toy Biz Legends though… Manthing (very cool!), the Wasp (priddy), Doc Oc, Namor (sexy though bulge-less), Storm, Ironfist (and where is HIS bulge?!?!) and Angel.

    But as bad as the Toy Biz Marvel Legends were, the Hasbro have been far FAR freakin’ worse so far. Did someone squish Emma Frost’s head? And those paint jobs? Why is Hercules’ hair brown but his bear orange? Wave 2 is slightly better, but you would think that now would be the time for Hasbro to try and impress us. You know — first impressions and all~!

    Incidentally, I read a news report that states that all Toys R US stores were sent a recall order from Hasbro on the Marvel Legends series 1. The reason, quite simply: Poor Sales!!!

    Well, if they didn’t all look so nasty we might actually buy more of them.

    Sigh… and yet, because these things are the representations of the characters we love, we lap them up whole-heartedly. Maybe complaining is half the fun? LOL!

    FABULOUS POST, my friend! Made my morning!!! :oD The captions are awesome! Thanks so much for sharing!

    Hugz + Kisses,
    Patrick XOXOXOX

  • JC says:

    Hey Dig! Glad you liked my collection even tho I’m ready to break half of them– haah. You are right, the Psylocke is pretty good– except I don’t think she looks very Japanese. Also , I would have rathered purple eyes rather than blue– and a hair sculpt that covered one eye like Jim Lee used to draw her.

    HAHAH! Patrick, I can’t believe you called him Miss Cruise! haha. But I actually like that movie. It’s the only one of his films I can tolerate. And yeah, Kurt totally looks like Darkness.

    And yah, I totally agree that the 1st Hasbro series of Legends toys is pretty bad. But the poor sales might also be because of the kinda lackluster character roster. Seriously, I dunno any kids out there beggin their parents for a Banshee figure– lol. Thanks for commenting, dude!

  • dreamerboy6 says:

    Hahaha! XD You’re right, they’re horrible! Still, it’s so funny to see /why/ they’re horrible explained in such vivid detail. I’ve just come to take for granted that most action figures are hideous crap. It’s the exceptional ones that I notice from time to time. Fun post!

Leave a Reply