All posts by JC

Ultimate Gay Fanboy

By | rant | One Comment
Hey guys, I started another blog: Ultimate Gay Fanboy. I was tempted to write a review of Speed Racer because I didn’t agree with all the specious negative reviews it’s been getting. But I didn’t know where to post it. So, I decided to create a new blog to post my reviews of things of interest to us gay fanboys out there. Please visit the new blog, and feel free to give your opinions of the material I choose to review! Thanks for your support, guys!

UPDATE: That blog is no more. Read the review below:

The recently released Speed Racer movie has proven to be one of the most accurate adaptations cartoon to film I’ve ever seen.
The cartoon is from the late 60’s and is originally Japanese and then ported over to United States where it enjoyed quite a bit of popularity. It’s basically about a teen race-car driver, his family, and their adventures unraveling sinister plots to eliminate him from races and/or steal his amazing car, the Mach 5. As a child of the 80’s, I had seen Speed Racer in reruns and remember thinking it was a little difficult to watch just because it felt dated. The stories seemed corny and the animation was sub-par compared to what I was used to. It wasn’t until much later, when I became a student of animation, that I began to appreciate Speed Racer. In the 90’s the cartoon resurfaced all over cable and grew a large cult following because of it’s “kitsch” or “camp” value. It’s chock-full of unintentional innuendo.

The Wachowski Brothers‘ film adaptation translates the original cartoon almost exactly. The plot feels totally lifted from an episode; from the outlandish villains and their ridiculous schemes, to the side plot of the annoying little brother and his pet chimp. The actors all look like character designs from the cartoon. The wardrobe is exactly the same, if not very similar. There is a scene where Emilie Hirsh is wearing Speed’s outfit right down to the red scarf. Even the show’s signature “suggestive gasps” made it into the movie. The only thing that is changed is the high-tech set design, which looks like BladeRunner dipped in a LisaFrank color palette.

That aspect, however, the color palette, is one that must not be ignored when talking about this film. To say that it’s over-the-top is almost an understatement. Bright, vibrant colors, lights and animation dominate the movie from start to finish. This look felt most appropriate during the action scenes but in carrying it throughout the film, they really succeed in creating an entirely different world. It’s stylized to the point where one might even call it experimental. Absolutely nothing about the look of this film is realistic. Ever.

This is precisely what I enjoyed about Speed Racer. They took a cartoon, and made the film version as “cartoony” as possible without animating the entire thing. More films that take their source material from a cartoon, comic book, or video game need to take this approach. Not everything has to be applicable to real life. I believe filmmakers do a great disservice to these original works when they’re modified to be “believable.”

I found Speed Racer to be visually engaging for the entire 2 hours I was there. There are times when it drags (the non-action scenes) but overall, I had a really good time. For the first time in quite a while, I felt like someone with an imagination was behind the scenes. I don’t doubt that these guys painstakingly watched every single episode of that cheesy cartoon (cringe-inducing as that sounds.) I feel like it’s important for the filmmaker to know his source material– and know it well. I respect and applaud the Wachowski Brothers for taking the time to really study the original.

My recommendation is that anyone who is a fan of the original series should definitely see it. Also, artists (particularly animators and illustrators) should give it a try because it’s a great exercise in visual art. If you do not like the original cartoon, do not like cartoons in general, and are more a fan of realism in movies, this film is not for you.

Tunnel Vision

By | muscles, Original Art, Persuasions, press, rant | 5 Comments
I’m proud to announce that I was recently chosen to contribute a piece for TimeOut New York! TimeOut is a comprehensive arts and entertainment resource found on newstands as a printed magazine and on the web at .

The piece is for their “horny” issue in which the features are more sex-related than usual. The article I appear in is entitled “Musée d’Horné,” on Page 16 of the printed magazine and can be found online here. Basically, they got 5 local artists to submit a sexy piece and then got a panel of sexperts to judge each pieces’ effectiveness.

The three panelists who judged my piece are: Pet Silvia, Legs Malone, and Billy Eichner. You can click each of their names here to be taken to their sites… just to have a bit of background on their credentials. ^__^

And by the way, as a friendly response to one of the comments: The very same day this issue came out, I was on a crowded train and was treated to one of the more blatant displays of public affection I’d ever seen. The girl was in a summery skirt, no underwear, and the boy was in sweatpants, also no underwear. They were looking around nervously but noted only me watching so they totally started to go at it. They began making out– heavily. He sucked her neck while she fondled him through his pants. When he got visibly hard, he looked around again to see if anyone was paying attention. Naturally, I continued to stare, with a bit of a “wtf” expression on my face. This (I think) prompted the young couple to get off the train at the next stop. Also, this very same issue of TimeOut has an article about how NYC is a public sex wonderland.

Top 10 Video Game Songs

By | Capcom, music, Nintendo, rant, Street Fighter, Top 10, video games | No Comments
I’ll be scrolling through my albums on my mp3 player and when people see me go through my game soundtracks, they’ll see the original game covers and get all wide-eyed like, “wow– do you have all those games on your iphone?!?” And I smile and say, “no– just the music!” And then they give me a weird look and back away slowly. What can I say? I LOVE GAME MUSIC!

10) Act 1 (Ms. Pac-Man)

I always thought this tune was a little too jazzy and dramatic for the love story of two yellow circles.

09) T.Hawk (Super Street Fighter 2)

He was my least favorite guy in that game– but I loved his theme. MEKSHIKO!

08) Flying Stage (Rocket Knight Adventures)

One of Konami’s best little-known titles, it had a great mascot (very Smash Bros. worthy) and great music throughout.

07) The Ocean (Vectorman)

This one is good with headphones. In this game’s options menu, under ‘music’ it read “click off if you don’t like good music.”

06) Sandopolis Zone (Sonic & Knuckles)

They really get down in old Sonic games, don’t they?

05) Dreamer (Streets of Rage 2)

From stage 3– where you walk around beating the shit out of people at the amusement park.

04) Gemini Man (Mega Man 3)

It manages to be kinda spooky yet super groovy at the same time– definitely the Thriller of NES game music.

03) Begin Treasure Hunting (Kirby SuperStar)

This is here mostly because it is WAY too epic to be in a Kirby game. It sounds like you’re on a grand quest to save medieval Europe.

02) African Mines (Duck Tales)

I used to time Scrooge’s jumping sound to the beat of the music. If he was ever off beat, it was bad luck.

01) Juggernaut (Marvel Super Heroes)

It’s somewhat dangerous for me to walk around with this playing on my ipod because I get so into it that I wanna punch through glass screaming maniacally like Juggernaut’s voice actor.


By | Capcom, Fan Art, muscles, Street Fighter, video games | 4 Comments
More Street Fighter Fan-Art! Here, I’m trying to indicate that Sean held his own for a little while– hence his acquisition of the mask and his breaking of the claw. But ultimately, he’s left to Vega‘s mercy. Also, here, I’m using what I do at work: the overwhelmingly exciting art of florals! Vega’s symbol is the rose, right?

Sluttin’ It Up

By | rant | 2 Comments
Yes, I’ve been at work whoring myself out on any and every free web community I can find. I am not in love with the whole social networking racket, but free advertising is always a good thing.

So, if you are on MySpace, DeviantArt, Y!Gallery, LifeOut, or GayWatch, please add me as a friend and spread the word to your friends. I’m not tryna be the next Tila Tequila or anything (especially not with that big ol’ E.T. head of hers) but it will be nice to see the Anti-Heroes holdin’ it down. Thanks!

ADDENDUM (04-28-08): MySpace can choke on my dick and die painfully. I hope Facebook does to Mypace what MySpace did to Friendster. Fascist fucks. (Sorry– when my feelings get hurt, instead of keeping it to myself or whining, I get angry and vindictive.)

Pedro y Pablo

By | hairy, muscles, old works, Original Art, xxx | 13 Comments
When I was 14, I got a scholarship to a snooty private high school because of a test I took. But I absolutely HATED any work that I had to take home with me. I avoided studying and cramming and research like the plague. The only thing that kept me kinda on par with all the stupid little future ivy leaguers was that I was a good test taker. Well, that and my ability to get out of reports by handing in comics and illustration instead!

Pedro y Pablo was for sophomore Spanish class, I think, and I’m pretty sure the official assignment was some kind of research project. I instead chose to write and illustrate a violent children’s book. No fair laughing at my crazy hands and feet, okay? Whaddaya want, I was 14!

Pedro y Pablo Habia una vez dos chicos gemelos que eran muy diferentes entre si: Pedro y Pablo. (Once upon a time, there were 2 twin boys who couldn’t be any less alike: Pedro and Pablo.)

Pedro era listo, exitoso y tenia una hermosa novia llamada Raquel. Pablo era malvado. (Pedro was smart, successful, and had a beautiful girlfriend named Raquel. Pablo was evil.)

Los padres de ambos sabian que habia algo mal con Pablo cuando mato a los othros bebes en el hospital donde habia nacido. (The boys’ parents knew something was wrong with Pablo when he killed the other babies in the hospital where he was born.)Por lo que se deshicieron de el. (So they sent him away.)Pablo se convirtio en un ciminal y asi un dia acabo en la carcel. (Pablo grew up to be a criminal and was eventually locked up.)Los siquiatras de la prision, sin embargo, diagnosticaron que la maldad de Pablo ero producto de genes defectuosos y una mala crianza. (However, prison psychiatrists said that Pablo was evil because of bad genes and faulty parenting.)Cuando salio de la carcel Pablo se vengo de sus padres pegandoles un tiro en la cabeza. Luego ato a su hermano y lo escondio en el baul del carro. (When released, Pablo took revenge on his parents by shooting them in the heads. He then tied his brother up and hid him in the trunk of his car.)
Pablo se posesiono de la vida de Pedro. Convirtio a sus amigos estudiosos en gangsters y a Raquel en una prostituta. (Pablo took over Pedro’s life, turning his nerd friends into gangstas and Raquel into a ho.)Pero con su nuevo novio, Raquel se sintio llena de vida. Juntos se embarcaron en una ola de crimenes. (Raquel finally felt alive with her new man. Together they went on a crime spree.)
Cuando por fin lorgo escaparse, Pedro intento retomar el control de su vida pero Raquel le metio un tiro en la ingle. (When Pedro finally escaped and proceeded to take his life back, Raquel shot him in the groin.) La moraleja es que no vale la pena ser bueno en la vida. (The moral of this story is that it does not pay to be nice.)
Yeah, I am pretty embarrassed about the ridiculous violence in this. What can I say? The late 80’s and early 90’s were all about blood and giant automatic weapons. That was “in.” Also, back then, being in the closet, I felt that I definitely needed a “hook” or “trademark” for my work to detract for any ambient gayness it might exude. The shock value of gratuitous violence was my hook.

Now it’s fat penises.


By | caricatures, commission, muscles, Original Art, xxx | No Comments
Hey gang! Just thought I’d share this sexy doodle I did for the guy that wrote that article on me. I usually don’t do caricatures, but Alan was an exception because he is a pretty attractive dude! I can’t tell you how many awkward conversations I’ve had with ugmos about how a caricature I’ve drawn doesn’t resemble them. GAH!

Take a tour of his site and once your done perusing his pics, read some of his writings. I am a fan of the gay virginity story…

I dunno why…

By | hairy, muscles, Original Art, xxx | 5 Comments
…I feel so guilty when I haven’t posted on here in a while. It’s like I’m neglecting a child. Well, rest assured, I am indeed working– not slacking. All I effing do is work. Just not enough on the stuff that’s fun.

Here’s a little doodle from a few days ago– another cute boy with a massive member. Enjoy!

Figue Drawing: Tony

By | figure drawing, hairy, muscles, Original Art, twinks, wet, xxx | 7 Comments
For this series of drawings, I really took the time to get to know these new water based markers I’d bought the week before. They don’t blend as well as the alcohol based ones but this particular brand does boast a few other assets. For one, they have a brush tip, allowing me to create lines that look a little like brushstrokes. That’s kinda cool.

The model was a first-timer by the name of Tony. Admittedly, I am not the hugest fan of PA’s, but it was fun to draw something new down there.

So just when I’d gotten used to drawing my little caricatures of Tony, we were treated to an added bonus– namely Brandon! Two for one!

Brandon, or the walking rug, as Wabbit called him, looked a lot more buff than I remembered. He also seemed very into Tony.

A note on this final drawing: talk about challenging! The models were so hot for each other that once they really got into it, they couldn’t hold still for nothin’! It’s so difficult to draw two bodies in perpetual motion that a lot of the other artists simply gave up. But youze guys know I’m a fuggin’ TROOPER and managed to produce something that I’m actually quite proud of. I feel like I really captured a sense of movement there.


By | videos | No Comments

The best part is, I really like “Without You” but now I can’t listen to it without belting out KEN LEEEEE!