What happened to JC, you ask? He’s unharmed… I guess. Right now, he’s bound and gagged, shivering in the corner of his living room. HAHAHA! Am I kidding? I suppose you’ll never know. Seriously though, I had to stop him. His next post was going to be some masturbatory block of text about his top 10 favorite movies. I says to him, I says, “People don’t come here to read about your self-indulgent rantings. They come here to see me. Me and my penis.” I actually asked JC how to rename this thing, “THE AWESOME BLOG OF ZEKE AND HIS AWESOME COCK,” but he wouldn’t tell me. So I’ll continue with the Anti-Heroes title.
So I’m sure all my fans want to know all about me and I thought what better way than to post that queer-ass “Getting to Know You” survey Caleb e-mailed me yesterday.
1. What time did you get up this morning?
Well, my weiner was up all night, as usual. But I didn’t wake up officially till 1pm.
2. What did you have for breakfast?
3. What was the last film you saw at the cinema?
Bukkake Boy-Sluts 12. Of course, that was at the adult theater. I don’t go to the legitimate movie theater because they don’t let you masturbate. Fascists.
4. What foods do you dislike?
Um… fish tacos.
5. Favorite item of clothing?
I have these fuschia undies that have a cock-ring built in.
7. What is your favorite TV show?
The program on the nature channel where they show animals fucking. You ever see hippos go at it?
8. What happened to number 6?
This shit is not funny.
9. Favorite sandwich?
10. Favorite Adult Beverage?
Can I say semen again?
11. Coke or Pepsi?
12. What was your most memorable birthday?
2 years ago, when I turned 21 for the third time. My party was at this club called Ballsweat. I broke my most guys fucked in one night record and had ice-cream cake.
13. What characteristics do you despise?
14. What is your favorite mp3 at the moment?
2 Live Crew – C’mon Babe
15. What color is your bathroom?
I refuse to answer stupid questions.
16. Favorite book?
Bukkake Boy-Sluts 7. Yeah, it’s a book too. Chapter 4 is particularly descriptive.
17. If you could go anywhere on vacation where would you go?
Tyson Beckford’s ass.
18. What fabric detergent do you use?
19. Do you have any pets?
Does my dick count?
20. Favorite sport?
21. What is your shoe size?
22. Where were you born?
In the ocean, spawned of the foam from the mighty Zeus’ severed phallus.
23. When was the last time you cried?
20 minutes ago.
24. Qualities of person who sent this to you?
Caleb is geek and an asshole because he won’t let me photograph his wang.
25. Who taught you to Copy & Paste?
Ugh, fuck u again.
There you have it. If you have any more questions, feel free to ask. Note that JC is going to Poland for the holidays and will have limited access to the internet. Not that that has anything to do with this blog becasue I, ZEKE have taken it over. Yep.